Sober Dad Asks: Should You Get A Medal For Taking Out The Garbage?

In a word, no.

When I first got married and we had our first child promptly thereafter, all I could think about was how wonderful I was.

Let me give you direct evidence of my wonderfulness.

Every Tuesday night, I rolled the garbage carts down to the street.

Every Wednesday afternoon, I rolled them back up to the side of the house.

On occasions far too numerous to count, I put my plate in the sink.

Sometimes I even scraped it off.

My socks seldom remained on the floor by the side of the bed for more than two days.

I know what you’re thinking.

Sober Dad has set a really high bar for the rest of us. Continue reading “Sober Dad Asks: Should You Get A Medal For Taking Out The Garbage?”

The Sober Dad Weekend Checklist: Nine Ways To Make Your Marriage Great

Seventy percent of the time a married couple spends together takes place on the weekend. This means that calls to sponsors, and topics in AA men’s meetings on Sunday nights and Mondays, typically have to do with what went wrong in the relationship over the previous few days.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

I’d like to share with you a nine-point checklist that, if followed thoroughly, will make your weekend not just bearable but great. Continue reading “The Sober Dad Weekend Checklist: Nine Ways To Make Your Marriage Great”

I Don’t Understand One Of My Kids And I Feel So Guilty

Dear Sober Dad,

I have three children, 14 down to 7. I do fine with my 14-year-old and my 7-year-old, but my 12-year-old son gives me fits. I feel like I don’t understand him at all. It’s so frustrating. What do I do?

– Natalie T., Denver, Colorado


Dear Natalie,

Sober Dad feels your pain.

He went through the exact same thing.
With my four children, I always used to say that there was one I didn’t “get.” I didn’t understand why he thought the way he thought or acted the way he acted. We butted heads and it was not pretty. Continue reading “I Don’t Understand One Of My Kids And I Feel So Guilty”

My Marriage Stinks But We Have Kids. Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

Dear Sober Dad,

We have children in middle school and our marriage is not in very good shape. We don’t fight a ton, but there is not a lot of intimacy. I’m afraid that it is affecting the kids. It’s certainly affecting me.

I’m not sure that my wife has either the interest or the capacity for emotional intimacy. My wife is a stay-at-home mom by choice. I think she’s burned out on me, on parenting, maybe on life in general. I’m sure we’re not the only ones, but it’s deeply frustrating.

I’ve thought a lot about leaving, but I realize I cannot be as good a parent outside the home as if I stay.
So I stay, primarily because of the kids. Thoughts?

– Mike S., Astoria, New York


Dear Mike,

Thoughts? Many.

Sober Dad is not a therapist, but he is a husband and father who has been through many struggles in his own marriage along the lines that you are describing in yours.

I once remember hearing a study described on the radio to the effect that women who work outside the home were happier and more fulfilled than those who stayed home with the children. Continue reading “My Marriage Stinks But We Have Kids. Should I Stay Or Should I Go?”